A: Because 2013‑me yeeted it off the internet and 2026‑me finally got around to restoring the backups. Archaeology is a team sport.
A: The original theme ascended to Valhalla. It is no longer among the living. We honor its memory by using a theme that actually works.
A: They’re real. The metaphorical “hallucinations” were courtesy of a 2013 WordPress infection that decided my site needed pirate fan fiction and beef‑cooking adventures. Those have been banished.
A: Possibly. If I find a camera that doesn’t record in “potato resolution” and if YouTube promises to lift the shadow‑ban. No promises.
A: Because apparently nobody else wanted to film themselves fixing things while covered in grease in 2011. Their loss.
A: Yes and no. It’s a museum of early internet chaos, resurrected WordPress fossils, and the era when I thought hiring a web design company was a good idea. It’s also a living ecosystem where I’ll publish new content.
A: No. Comments have been banished to the Shadow Realm until I decide whether I trust the internet again.
A: It means I was having fun. That’s it. That’s the lore.
A: Maybe. Maybe not. It depends on how much coffee I’ve had and whether WordPress behaves itself.